All (or almost all) of Neil's lyrics are on the
Neil Innes - Words of Innespiration Web site.
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Crystal balls,
To Fortune-Tellers
Reveal a swarm of what-will-be's
All in all
Like clocks and watches
We got time on our hands and destinies
I've heard the squeal of tyres around a corner
I've broken down and I've been towed
I've seen everything I ever hoped and dreamed for
Squashed like a hedgehog in the road
Crystal balls etc.
Just give me wide open spaces and clean living
As long as I've a banjo to pluck
I'll sing to the cactus and coyotes
Hipperty-Hi, Hipperty-Ho, Que Sera.
Crystal Balls etc.
Burn, Baby, burn,
Shake, Baby, shake,
One foot on the gas
And one foot on the brake
An eye for an eye
And a tooth for a tooth
A poet for a lie
And a clown for the truth.
I wanna catch-phrase
I wanna start a craze
I wanna make love to you.
The message seemed so simple
I stared in disbelief,
Could it be some wisdom
had come to my relief?
Was the Son of God, a man among men?
Or which of the apostles
had owned a ball point pen?
God is Love,
God is Love,
Like the joke that says the future of mankind is in your hand,
'God is Love.'
Love is never easy.
Love is hard to find.
And just as hard to keep
As an open mind.
So somehow I felt sorry
For that unknown 'Patron Saint'
Whose words would soon be martyred
By a fresh coat of paint;
'God is Love,'
'God is Love'
In a temple or a toilet,
in a bed or in a bar,
'God is Love.'
Randy Raquel
I think you're swell
My sweet inflatable you
You never say no
Or come and go
You're always faithful and true
Fantastic dream
Elastic and cream
Plastic and steam
Spastic supreme
Randy Raquel
All I day long the sky is blue
And everyone agrees with you
In Shangri-La
Every day's a perfect day
And you can go your own sweet way
In Shangri-La
In Shangri-La, in Shangri-La,
You can be whoever you are
In Shangri-La.
Investment with a good return
Provides the means through which we earn
Our daily bread
Insisting on an equal cut
Some people even bust a gut
To stay ahead.
All day long the sky is blue
And no one has a lot to do
In Shangri-La.
It's a strange world we live in
And surely we're forgiven
If we don't know where to turn
With Paradise for hire
On the back streets of desire
We all live and learn.
All day long the sky is blue
And everyone's in love with
In Shangri-La
Lovers dance and children sing
And everybody does their thing
In Shangri-La.
In Shangri-La, in Shangri-La,
You can be whoever you are
In Shangri-La.
Drama on a Saturday night
A story of human emotion
Love is as shallow as people
And as deep as the ocean
She posed for Sunday papers
Wearing nothing but a smile
She took'em off while putting on the style
She soon became the sweetheart
Of a playboy millionaire
Who bought her clothes and took her everywhere
They were married in Las Vegas
She said solemnly 'I do'
Amidst T.V. cameras and Yankee Ballyhoo
Bella frequented the night club scene
As befits an ex-beauty Queen
She took to drink while her playboy played
And so it was their love decayed
Drama on a Saturday night etc
Bella got a gun
Bella shot him dead
He died instantly the Coroner said
And so behind dark glasses
Bella hid her eyes
It's unsightly when a woman cries
Just who was to blame
The Press would soon find out
But as it was, the Jury had no doubt
The verdict was guilty
The Judge had no choice
He said 'You get life'
In a serious voice
But Bella just laughed
And tearfully said,
'Oh what a joke, I've always been dead!'
Drama on a Saturday night etc.
Passing nearby,was a shiny black car
In the front a chauffeur, in the back a cigar
That lit up the face of a middle-aged man
Who bought and sold stock like nobody can,
And he said:
'Let my dreams shine through,
Let my dreams shine through'.
Close by, two young lovers were getting it on
And of all the positions they knew every one
And after they'd tried every trick in the book
He lay on the bed with a faraway look,
Thinking:
'Let my dreams shine through,
Let my dreams shine through'.
Not far away was another big car
This time, in the back, was a rock and roll star
And that night at the concert the fans all went wild
As he strummed his guitar and sang through his smile
Singing:
'Let my dreams shine through,
Let my dreams shine through'.
Well, the fans went home happy, and so did the Star
Likewise the young lovers, and the man in the car
But as the old man turned over and died
For the moment all the others, felt cold
And empty, inside.
Feeling restless, and upset,
She slides a hand between her thighs
She doesn't see him
She doesn't hear him
He takes her by surprise;
He throws himself upon her
Pins her to the floor
She moans in sudden pleasure
'Give me more, give me more'.
Headlights in the driveway
Footsteps down the hall
'Is anybody home?'
She hears her husband call
He finds her in the kitchen
With his dinner on a tray
And as she takes his coat and hat
He says he's had a busy day.
Eating Chinese Pizza
And staring into space
We are so very lucky
To have a nice place
Decent next-door neighbours
With similar values
Throwing weekend parties
With lots and lots of booze.
Such a girl can make you
And then you wonder why,
When in the morning
You find a way to say goodbye
But did it have to take all night
To kiss away each lie?
Oh Oh, La Vie En Rose.
When love is new
The stars are in your eyes
When love is new
The world is in disguise
When love is new
You take any chance,
But love is friendship,
Much more than romance.
Such a cold, cold morning
The wind against my face
No special feeling
Just a sleepless night to taste
Never had so many memories to waste
Oh Oh, La Vie En Rose.